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Glberognog
Ok, this is tricky... In explaining love to a child over 7, I'd just say that love is a special word, like relationship, parent, freedom, home, independence, ethical - they seem like they describe something that just is, but really, they're a thing you do. You hear grown-ups talk about love like it's a place to go or leave ("we realized, after a year, we were in love" "we weren't in love any longer"), something that makes you do good or bad things ("you wouldn't do that if you loved me!"), or a reason for dealing with things ("well, I guess you put up with a certain amount of crap when you're in love"). "Love" is a strange, crazy thing to pin down this way, isn't it? That's because they're using it as an expression only. Really, love is a verb (or action) that looks like a noun (or thing or state of being). Here's what love really is: It's this great feeling you get to have with someone else, when they want to sit and play with you even when they didn't pick the game, when they will watch a movie with you (even a really scary one) even when you picked the movie. If you have an argument, saying sorry really does make it ok - and sometimes you don't even need a sorry, just a hug will do. You can be silly and stupid and goofy and they will laugh with you (and not make fun of you). When you're sad, they just hug you and let you cry, and tell you it will be ok (and you actually believe it). When you need help, they're the one you call. They keep your secrets, and are even part of some of the best ones. They help feed your dreams, goals and adventures, they cheer you when you win, hate people who hurt you, and help you get over feeling sad. They make you that, however you feel, whatever you do that day - you're ok, and just being you is perfect. Pretty great, right? How do you get that kind of support and affection? Well, the first is be born - parents do this (or should). Ok, how else? Well, you sit and play with someone even when you didn't pick the dame. You watch a movie with someone even when they pick it. If you have an argument, say you're sorry (even if it's not your fault). Don't make fun of them when they're silly or stupid or goofy - laugh with them. When they're sad, hug them and let them cry. When they need help, do whatever you can to offer it when they can. Keep their secrets, even when you are part of them. Be happy for their wins, angry at the people who hurt them, and help them get over feeling sad. Make sure they know that, however they are, however they feel, whatever they do, they're perfect - just for being them. That's love, and that's why it's work. You have to do a lot, sometimes more than you get. But you have to believe that it's all worth it - and it really is. Loving someone is worth so much, sometimes more than being loved. The only way you get that, though, is to work hard at being great at loving someone else. Sometimes they won't love you as much. Sometimes they'll love you more. Even though it's hard to believe, it really doesn't matter - the most important thing is being able to love someone. Getting really great at that is what makes you great at finding people who are great at loving you back - and there is nothing better in the world. You deserve it. Now give me a hug, and go play. For a child under 7, I'd just say: Love is what your daddy and I feel about you. We love you all the time, no matter what. There's nothing you can do, nothing you can say and nothing you can think that would make us love you even a tiny, teeny bit less. We are very proud of you, we love you exactly as you are - and you make us very, very happy. Now give me a hug, and go play.